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December 05 LIVE FINALE BLOGIt's FINAL TIME peeps!
Are you ready for a killer Bushtucker Trial?
...and who would you like to be king or queen of the jungle?
Leave your comments...
To be honest, I wouldn't mind if any of them won this year. Now David's gone, they all deserve it and I think it's a real testament to the British public that the three nicest people you could meet are left in the final!
I would REALLY love Joe to take it home though...
For three long weeks they've battled it out. Who will win I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Here? Will it be the galaxy-crossing gent, the Wimbledon Wonderwoman or the East End lad with the heart of gold?
We join the show as George and Joe are congratulating each other. Martina is happy that all three of them are together and George points out that Joe is the only Brit. "I know, these yankies they're taking over." George laughs and says, "we're everywhere!"
Next Joe returns from the Bush Telegraph... He tells the campers that they will be taking part in a Final Bustucker Trial. If they pass, they'll win a fantastic (and delicious) three course meal, but if they fail it's rice and beans all round. Joe will be battling for the starter, George the main and Martina the dessert. Joe is so funny. He goes into the Bush Telegraph and says, "Why are you making our last day here hell? (He farts) Look what you're doing to me... I've got wind and now I have to go the toilet!"
THE BUSHTUCKER TRIAL
As Joe arrives for his trial he says to Ant and Dec, "I’m really, really nervous about this." Ant & Dec congratulate him on reaching the final and he says, "I know. I can’t believe it, the only Brit in the final. I’m over the moon, I never thought I’d get this far."
Joe looks around and is confused, he's convinced himself that he's going to be eating something - but there's nothing there...
Ant & Dec confirm that he'll be battling for the starter, but if he completes the trial he can also receive a tipple and a treat!
Joe breathes a sigh of relief as he's told he won't be eating anything, but he adds that he doesn't want "a buried alive one with rats like Pasquale!" Needless to say he's gutted when Ant reveals that exactly what he's got!
"Beneath us lies a pit dug into the rainforest floor, you will step into it and lie on your back, the lid will be closed and you will be in complete darkness. For every two minutes you are able to remain down under, you will earn one star, as you know the Australian jungle is full of surprises and the nocturnal and subterranean life is abundant. Five stars earns you a fully prepared starter for three this evening plus a special beverage plus a special treat."
LOL! Joe takes his socks off and puts them down his trousers to protect Alfie (his wiener) from the rats. The boys open the pit and in he gets... "I’m not happy and I’m not prepared."
Eugh! Stagnant water is poured into the underground coffin... Joe shouts, "It’s freezing you could have warmed it up. Oh man there is something on my feet." He's joined by rats and eels that run all over his face and body, but he's more freaked out by the leaf that he thinks is a huge spider.
Joe squeals, "Kids stay at school and get an education or you’ll end up doing things like this!"
He can't believe it when Ant & Dec open the lid. "That's 10 minutes, you can come out now." Joe can't wait to get out. He crawls out and stands up, "There's no way that that was ten minutes!" - Well done Joe. A starter each, a beverage each and a treat - FAB!
Next it's George's turn...
He's the poor sucker with the eating challenge!
He's offered five Bushtucker snacks and Ant will also try to tempt him with his favourite foods. If he takes a 'real meal' at any point he loses eerything he's won in the trial. The first meal is Lasagne... or three tasty Cockroaches!
George declines the Lasagne and chows down on the crunchy insects. When Dec asks if they've any flavour, George seems to actually be enjoying them! "Mmmm, They're rather savoury. I think I'm enjoying these more than I would have the Lasagne!" Go on Gorgeous George, they're all stars this year they really are!
Next it's two live Locusts or a Thai Green Curry. George opts for the Locusts and makes short work of them (thought he's not too happy they're alive). He smiles, "that was crunchy!"
"The Cockroaches were nutty, but these are toastie. That's the second one isn't it - So I've won two dinners."
Ant is gobsmacked! "You're very calm George, some people come to this restaurant and freak out!" George replies, "I'm trying to think of myself as a gormet!"
It's a Wichetty Grub next and George bites the head off and necks the body. "Eugh! The insides are slimy... That was not nutty! The skin was tough! That was by far the vilest!" It wouldn't be so hard to watch if he didn't have grub guts on his lips.
The fourth plate holds nothing less than a Kangaroo's Penis and George isn't phased. "Cute little thing isn't it?" He picks it up to examine it and then I'm surprised as he pops it in in one. "That's very hard!" He asked if he could take the treat plate of burger and chips back to Joe and sadly Ant & Dec refuse. "Instead of the penis, can I just eat the peas on the plate?"
Ant & Dec reveal that his final plate is a 'new' option for this year. "It's Camel's Testicles!" They're huge! George declines and I can't say I blame him. They are enormous and he's already won the meals and beverages. It's just for the bonus treat. His camp mates cheer him on as he returns and reveals the good news. Joe laughs, "I wouldn't have eaten testicles either George. Arrr... He's a dirty git, but he's a star!"
Now there's just Martina's trial left..
Martina says that her camp mates have said they don't need dessert, "but it's my pride at the end of the day. They've all done so well!"
For her trial she has to place her head inside a plastic bubble, which will then be filled with jungle nasties. The problem is after each nasty goes in, it stays in. The bubble will literally be 'filled'.
Martina knows what's to come, "so in other words.. Everything that is gonna be on my face, I wouldn't want on my face?" She jokes, "I'm ready for my close up!"
...In she goes.
Bushtucker Bob gives her a safety talk and advisesthat she breathes slowly through her mouth and not her nose. "You might suck something up!" Martina barely moves a muscle as fifty grasshoppers are poured over her head and face. "Piece of cake so far," she says... She closes her eyes tight and hundreds of cockroaches and burrowing cockroaches are poured in next... The insects are going crazy inside her helmet and they're crawling up her nose and down her chest. Stick insects are across her face and now it's huntsman and orb spiders - these freak me out, they're enormous. I don't know how she's doing this, the thing is nearly full! The last lot are snakes and Martina just sticks her thumb up and they're in! She's nails this woman - NAILS! The cockroaches go nuts when the snakes go in and one bites Martina on the nose and make her cry. This is an evil trial! She brought it home though - Desserts, booze and treats. On returning to the camp all three of them celebrate their success. Martina is overwhelmed, "We've had a great time. May the best man win and you know what, I don't care who that is!" On a scale of 1 to 10, just how chuffed are they gonna be with this meal? THE JUNGLE AWARDS Dani - Queen of the Stir Fry Carly - Angel of the Night Timmy – King of the Cackle Esther - Renaissance Woman Brian - The Naked Sheriff Nicola got Biggest Boobs in Camp David won Camp Camera Hog Joe decides that Martina is Superwoman and the Champion in the Camp. He says she's an unsung hero, kind, affectionate, beautiful – a true champion. Presenting the King Amongst Men award to George, Martina says he's a dear human being who's brought pleasure, happiness and laughter and a great attitude to the camp. Joe was given A Man For All Seasons award and George said, "You love and embrace everyone, creative, inventive, principled and defined by your big heart.’ He adds, "If you weren’t straight Joe, I’d jump into bed with you if Brad wasn’t there!" SO WHO'S THIRD? IT'S GEORGE!
George doesn't look too surprised and he really doesn't look that bothered either. I think these three get on so well, they're all just happy they were together at the end. PHONE LINES HAVE BEEN RE-OPENED FOR JOE AND MARTINA - COME ON JOE! VOTE JOE PEOPLE! George crosses the bridge and as he does, we witness footage of his campmates comments. Phrases spring like 'a gentleman' and 'a blessing to all'. George absolutely loved his experience. "I never thought I would get this far and it's been wonderful. I am delirious with joy!" He watches his best bits and beams and laughs throughout - What a ride eh George!? "Wasn't that something? At this senior stage, who would have thought that I've had that much action. I really have to thank the I'm A Celebrity people for this! The best things are the friendships we have all made. This isn't the end, this is the beginning. We will cross counrties all over the world and be friends for a long time." "The worst thing was that horrible hike. Then my fall, which I didn't want to do but the ground just gave under me. Then I saw the camp and the double decker bus. See... There are some perks to being so old. I got the bunk on the bus and I stayed there throughout the whole experience." Ant asks about the arguments in the group. "It was horrible,especially when we had those four days and nights of rain. Everything was so wet and cold and it was terrible..." Ant adds,"yeah and tempers frayed because of that?" George adds that he is looking forward to seeing everyone on the outside, but most of all Joe. "I'm gonna visit him when I'm in London. I know where he lives." I think Joe made the experience for George, they really are a grandfather and grandson team! As the lines close for the final time, we see the final three having their Bushtucker prize - a wonderful three course meal. The portions are huge and they just can't get over the trouble that the 'outsiders' have gone to. They have a proper table and chairs, with a tablecloth, place settings, glasses and cutlery. They all feel spoiled and have a fantastic time! WHO'S OUR WINNER..? All of the celebrities are reunited in camp and they hold thier breath as Ant says... The winner of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here and the new KING of the jungle is JOE SWASH!
Joe is overwhelmed and overjoyed. He can't believe that he's won! Back to Joe in a mo, first of all we have Martina's interview. As with George, when she crosses the bridge we hear what the other campers have to say. They all agree that she is 'well educated', 'the real wonderwoman', 'inspirational' and 'a true champion'. Nicola says that Martina is amazing and when she speaks, you listen. She is fantastic isn't she? Martina is so happy. "I'm so pleased and I'm so happy for Joe. You can't compete with Eastenders can you (she laughs) - NO, you can't compete with Joe he's such a gem!" Martina watches her best bits and her eyes fill up (she's obviously had an amazing time). She says it was very slow in places, but then action packed. Ant & Dec ask what brought her to the jungle. "What brought me here was not knowing what I was getting myself into. I've learned that I can do okay and adapt to any situation. I also know that I can now work with 12 people I don't know. It was sink or swim, I'm not a mingler. At parties I'm usually in the corner - So now I know I can talk to people I don't know." She says the worst hing was never being satisfied and having empty bellies. "The only time we were full was last night when the portions were massive. Dani and Simon did a great job cooking for us and keeping us all happy. We had just add rice and beans to everything to bulk it up." When asked about David, Martina knew that he had a plan. "He went for an interview at one point and when he came back he said to me 'talk normal'. I was like, so what you don't talk normal any other time? He was nice to me, it was just the other people..." Ant asks if she missed buddy Nicola and Martina admits, "she's the glamour model and I'm the jock but we hit it off! She's a sweet person and I missed her a lot." JOE WINS! YES!
Joe is still visibly overwhelmed as he crosses the bridge (he looks a little pastey too - someone feed him please!) Not one camper on the VT has a bad word to say about Joe and most of them feel they bonded with him the most. They all think he's an absolute legend, it's no wonder he won! Joe watches his best bits and says, "It's been amazing! I loved everything, the whole thing was a great experience - Gorgeous George, the cave with Timmy - everything!" Joe admits that his worst moment was the eating trial. "Nicola knows, I was dreading anything like that and when I did it with her, I was terrible!" He watches the footage of the David and Timmy argument and Ant asks why he felt the need to stick up for them. "There was ten people and two people, the numbers were a bit off and you should always fight for the little man eh? I'd like to think that in the future someone would do that for me!" Before he's crowned, Joe is asked about his biggest fan George... "Seriously I've said it before, I think I love the man. I said in camp I'd fallen in love with him. I don't know what happened... We got on so well and I just wanted to kiss him, so I kissed him!" Fair enough Joey - You can do whatever you like, we'll love you no matter what - You've been fantastic, a trooper and a gent and I'm just so happy that you won! Joe is crowned KING of the jungle and walks across the bridge to the press. A face beams out from the melee and he cries at the sight of his Mum. I think he might squeeze her head off. Bless him! I tell you what though... I bet his mum will feed him up tonight. I dread to think how much weight he's lost poor thing. Then again, I've had that many emails saying how attractive he is, he may want to keep his new beard and physique for five minutes and do a photoshoot or two for the girls! Wit-woo Joey, Wit-woo! So that's it! It all worked out exactly how I wanted it to and I'm pleased as punch. I love it when a plan comes together. I hope you've enjoyed the I'm A Celebrity Blog and come back and see me next time... As always feel free to leave your comments and why not join me over at The X Factor Blog? It's the Judges Choice this week and it's going to be fantastic! Have a great weekend... Selena x
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